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+-- Forum: Applying to university (https://www.studentdiscussion.co.uk/forum-24.html)
+--- Forum: UCAS Forms & Personal Statements (https://www.studentdiscussion.co.uk/forum-2.html)
+--- Thread: beginning of person statement help please?x (/thread-1877.html)
beginning of person statement help please?x - Guest - 15/11/2006
i am applying for
events, music and media management
entertainment management
hospitality and event management
arts management
events management
music and media management
what u reckon of the beggingng so far?
'My love of music and entertainment events has helped me to realise that I want to be involved in this line of work. This is why I have chosen to apply for a course that relates to my interests.
I love the experience of going to carnivals, festivals and music concerts and would like to be a part of what goes on behind the scenes and work with a project as it grows and becomes complete.'
RE: beginning of person statement help please?x - Guest - 18/11/2006
Umm.. with all due respect, what you've got there is completely basic 'I want to do this because I like it' stuff. You really gotta work on a better intro. An intro like that isn't gonna stick in anyone's mind, let alone an admission's tutor. Just being blunt.