ENGLISH/ENGLISH EDUCATION

[Laura]

I am an access student applying to study English Education and other English related degrees, with the view of becoming a teacher of English.

I completed my UCAS form last night with, I thought, a good personal statement.  However, my tutor has hacked my opening paragraph to pieces and told me that it was fine to send, but it now doesn't explain in much detail why I want I want to teach English, neither does it emphasise how much I appreciate and enjoy the subject.  

I have reluctantly sent my form, but I now want to change my statement before my referee sends it.  

I really need some help and suggestions on what an imppresive opening line could be...can anyone help me??

[ijakings]

Hey there, bad luck about your tutor changing your personal statement. I expect most tutors see more personal statements than students - but that doesn't always make them more qualified to comment!

I'm a firm believer in the fact that your statement should get across why you're interested in studying your statement and if you don't feel yours is doing that, change it if you can. However you don't want to just be talking about yourself - more the actual subject if you can - noone wants to read a paragraph full of I have always loved ... ever since I was young ... blah blah blah.

If you can try and show your statement to a sixth form tutor or whoever deals with most of the applications at your school or college - they can probably give you a bit more advice.

Good luck.

[emili]

i just finsihed writing my personal statement and i`m an access student like you and i want to do english. I started mine with a quote which i got from a quote site which wa by one of my fave authors ( i didn`t want to do one by someone i hadnt heard of in case i`m asked about it) I dont know if mines any good im seeing my tutor tomorrow, I found it hard because if your like me you might have just been working for the past few years and i dont have much relevant english stuff to put in. Thats what i`m worrying about really. Im gonna see what my tutor says first because i`ve looke at sites with tips on and i`ve read my friends and everything is so different its hard to know what to write!