Desperate - Comments needed on my PS

[kathleenleach]

Please could you give me your comments/criticism on my personal statement! (applying as a mature student)

hi i would do a few things with it the overall content is good but it lacks a definate stucture for example try an introduction first sentance is very important i would look at stating the main reason you would like to become a teachair how your interest has developed and what your ambition is your love of children your interest in play ect
then i would back it up with your work experience you have gained and what you have learned ect i would conclude by demonstrating your dedication to your vocation by writing about the course you are attending and skills and attributes
also try not to repeat yourself you only need to say each thing once and clearley start strong and finish strong good luck write or type it out untill your happy with it then show it to your current tutor for a final opinion hope that helps