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+--- Forum: UCAS Forms & Personal Statements (https://www.studentdiscussion.co.uk/forum-2.html)
+--- Thread: personal statement, need opinions (/thread-1511.html)
personal statement, need opinions - jayrussphf - 20/10/2006
i dont know whether its alright, over quoted, too formal, too informal, anyway, please could you say if its alright, cheers
Personal statement
I would enjoy taking war studies at university, because I plan to go into the forces with a commission and a degree can only bolster my chances. Tactics and strategy is a keen interest of mine, alongside the philosophy of war, ethics and war in modern society. Given the way in which war touches every aspect of human existence.
I have specifically taken AS and A2 Ancient History in my second year with a view to improving my academic profile for this course. This will also give me a good grounding in placing war in the development of human society, and a solid understanding of the central role that war played during the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. One of my favourite aspects of Ancient History is the writings, and their subjectivity leaving the interpretation to my logic and reasoning based on the situation, the times and other evidence.
I am taking Sociology A level, and Philosophy A level, I believe that these courses compliment this multi disciplinary course. They provide me with a critical understanding of society and an ability to place ethical judgements on human endeavours. War is based on conflicting societies, war has inspired social change and ‘engenders some of the most intense as well as the most brutal human experiences and it raises the fundamental questions of human ethics.’ (Professor Sir Lawrence Freedman, Professor of War Studies). These subjects involve verbal reasoning and both provide good practice for structuring an argument. All three of my subjects are essay based exams. These skills include the ability to handle a wide range of evidence, analyse complex issues and present conclusions in a clear and effective manner.
Taking these courses has given me the opportunity to research into some interesting books combining all three. Once I decided on war studies for a degree course, I started reading The Pursuit Of Power: Technology, Armed Force and Society since A.D 1000 and found it very interesting, especially chapter 4 on Advances in Europe’s Art of War, and the section of army control. For it explained the origination of drill command and training “in the manual of arms and various movements” and “to march well in small units.” This aspect of the military still remains key for all armies to function today.
I am a confident and independent student who has the maturity to face the challenge of university. I also volunteer at my local youth centre with the millennium volunteer group doing shop work, and arranging social activities, this will help me achieve a nationally recognised certificate, dependant on how many hours I attain. I play 5 a side football, and often take a captains role for my team, applauding my motivational and teamwork skills.
I have had to take an independent and self-motivated role in my own life as I moved away from the core of my family in order to go to a good sixth form college in the South of England. I spend much of my time living on my own as my Father works abroad for long periods at a time, so am well prepared for this aspect of university life.
I believe that university offers me the opportunity to develop my understanding of an area that truly interests me, as well as increasing my chances of achieving a commission in the British Army.
RE: personal statement, need opinions - jayrussphf - 20/10/2006
all criticisms welcome