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BSc Adult nursing Personal statement advice
#1
This is what I came up with so far, what do you think of it?


As soon as I had finished my GCSE’s I had no particulare career pathway but I decided to get into health and social care.I was always a patient and caring person but during my BTEC first diploma in health and social care course at MCAST in Malta I had further developed these skills and learned how to deal with children and the elderly.I can deal and talk to an individual in a loving manner and be calm under stressful situations .Due to my patience I can also cater to the needs to multiple service users accordingly and treat each and everyone as a unique person.
After realizing I had these skills and could further develop them I decided to carry on my course an am currently on my second year in the BTEC National Diploma in health and social care(care).During my time in this couse I have worked with more people each with their own needs such as homeless people,drug addicts and people with disabilities.However in one particulare work placement I had which was at an elderly home, an eldery had a small strokean I was unable to handle her as I was only specialized in social care.I called for the nurse and as soon as I saw how she handeled the situation I realized that simply taking a social approach on individuals is not enough, a medical approach is also needed in certain situations.After this experience I started to also take an interest in biology which I already had some knowledge of in my previous course.Now with my studies I able to detect if a person has a heart attack and what to do in these situations,if a service user has this experience I would still call the nurse or doctor however at least I know what my role in that situation is.
I would like to apply for this course in adult nursing because I want to change my role in such instances and want to be the one to help the person not only socially but medically as I belive that these two approaches have to go hand in hand when dealing with vulnerable people.I think I am suitable for this course because I am patient,able to keep calm under stressful situations and know how to talk to people and cheer them up.I am also creative as I had also studied art and this in turn had helped me make activities for clients according to their needs, one such instance was when I had organazied an activity in which a group of clients who where on wheelchairs tossed a ball amongst themselves to work their upper body.
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#2
any help at all please?
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#3
the odd spelling mistake but word can fix that for you, " who where on wheelchairs" for instance.

i think its good but seems to come to an abrupt end and you need some full stops, some of your sentences are a little long.
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#4
(17/11/2010, 04:10 PM)tufty Wrote: the odd spelling mistake but word can fix that for you, " who where on wheelchairs" for instance.

i think its good but seems to come to an abrupt end and you need some full stops, some of your sentences are a little long.

After finishing my O’levels I had no particulare career pathway but I decided to get into health and social care.I was always a patient and caring person but during my BTEC first diploma in health and social care course at MCAST in Malta I had further developed these skills and learned how to deal with children and the elderly.I know how to talk and listen to an individual in a loving manner and be calm under stressful situations .Due to my patience I can also cater to the needs to multiple service users accordingly and treat each and everyone as a unique person.
After realizing I had these skills and could further develop them I decided to carry on my course an am currently on my second year in the BTEC National Diploma in health and social care(care).During my time in this couse I have worked with more people each with their own needs such as homeless people,children and drug addicts.However in one particulare work placement I had which was at an elderly home, an eldery had a small stroke and I was unable to help her as I had only learned how to socialize and care for people but not health wise.I called for the nurse and as soon as I saw how she took care of the situation I realized that simply taking a social approach on individuals is not enough, a medical approach is also needed in certain situations.After this experience I started to also take an interest in biology which I already had some knowledge of in my previous course.Now in any incident occurs such as a person trips and is injured ,is choking or has had a heart attack I am able to understand further what to do in these situations such as if a person cas fainted I know hot to put the service user in a recovery position,check that nothing is in his/her mouth and call for help.
Aside from knowing how to talk to service users I am a very creative person, having studied art for 5 years I am able to make activities according to their needs.For children I know that I would need to do something fun and that they can keep,for someone who can cook I know that I should make an activity appropriate for his talents and for elderly people with a form of dementia a memory game would be appropriate for them as it would help their mental abilities.As proof of these things during my course placements I have written down a logbook saying what I had done each day and the activities I had done and what the staff has tought of me.An improvement from each placement is seen which proves that I am able to learn from my mistakes and adapt myself.I am a quick learner and willing to learn new things all the time, I am also very organized and so know what need priority first .I can ensure that schedules and work I have during placement and during lectures are not tight and that I have time for everything to work at my fullest.
I would like to apply for this course in adult nursing because I want to change the role I am in right now and want to be the one to help the person not only socially but medically as I belive that these two approaches have to go hand in hand when dealing with vulnerable people.I think I am suitable for this course and your university because I am a quick and willing learner,I do not see service users as patients in any care sector but I see them as individuals and that each and everyone should be treated accordingly.I would push myself to not just be a nurse that does my duties but also one that gets to know the service users and build up a relationship with them.

I changed it a bit, aside from the spelling mistakes(i didnt fix yet because library computers dont seem to have spell check in word)what do you think?
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