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Criminology (and either Psychology or Law)

I'm trying to write a personal statement for a joint honours degree with a major in Criminology and i'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to what to write within.

I've written a draft but it needs refining adn i'm having no help from my admissions tutor at school. I've included work experience i undertook at a local newspaper. Details of relevant units in my A levels (Psychology, Law, ICT and English Lit) Why i want to study Criminology and details of my strengths and out of school achievements.

I've also recently joined a snooker club and wonder if this is worth writing in. Any ideas?

This is my opening paragraph :

Criminology is a course I have been fascinated with for some time as I have a strong interest in the study of crime and how it can be related to the mind of those who commit crimes. I also have a strong desire to combine Criminology with Psychology, as it is a subject I have loved studying at A Level. I feel combining the two subjects will give me a greater understanding of why people commit crimes and what mindset they are in when they carry out these acts. Another area that holds a strong interest for me is the English Legal System and I feel Law as a course would also complement either Criminology or Psychology perfectly.

All comments and suggestions would be much apprieciated.

Many Thanks

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