08/01/2007, 11:55 PM
I'm applying for a physics degree (yeh i know i'm late, but i've been out in France for the past 3 months!) and have started on my personal statement. I wanted to see what others thought of it, some have said it's too wordy so I need some constructive critisicsm please, and advice on how to make it better.
It has always been true that to be able to understand that which is all around us is man’s greatest desire. In Physics, this ambition is shown most fundamentally by its yearning to understand the very roots of existence and its belief that one day it will uncover the truth to the one question that has eluded all of those who have asked it, ‘Why are we here?’. From an early age, I have marvelled at the simple but elegant theories that rationalize seemingly impossible physical phenomena, leading me to the decision that Physics was the subject I wanted to pursue above all others.
This is the opening paragraph, does it shape up ok?
It has always been true that to be able to understand that which is all around us is man’s greatest desire. In Physics, this ambition is shown most fundamentally by its yearning to understand the very roots of existence and its belief that one day it will uncover the truth to the one question that has eluded all of those who have asked it, ‘Why are we here?’. From an early age, I have marvelled at the simple but elegant theories that rationalize seemingly impossible physical phenomena, leading me to the decision that Physics was the subject I wanted to pursue above all others.
This is the opening paragraph, does it shape up ok?